Pom in Oz: Bullying can have long-term effects but some actual cases end up being mislabelled or ignored

Have you ever been bullied? Or felt picked on? Were we actually “bullied” or were we teased? Is there even a difference?

According to kidshelpline.com.au, bullying is defined as “being mean to someone over and over again. Bullying is an ongoing or repeated misuse of power in relationships, with the intention to cause deliberate psychological harm. Bullying behaviours can be verbal, physical or social. Bullying can happen anywhere — at home, online, with friends, in a group, on the bus or at school.”

Some may not see the difference, but I feel it’s just as important to understand what bullying isn’t, as what it is.

To be clear, the word “bullying” is said far too often and this results in actual cases of bullying either being mislabelled or even ignored.

Recovering from a few bruises was far easier than from the torture of being berated by my peers.

Working in education I see or hear about “bullying” on a regular basis. It’s frustrating to say the least that people use the term out of context and rather than looking at behaviours jump immediately to bullying.

But, that being said, actual bullying is a tragic thing. It’s one of the most harmful things someone can go through. Scars from bullying can, and do, stay with people for their entire lives.

Bullying can take many forms. In a way, physical bullying is perhaps the easiest to recover from.

As a child I was punched, kicked, pushed — all for being overweight. Those incidences were so much easier to get over than the forms of emotional and social bullying I had dished out.

Recovering from a few bruises was far easier than from the torture of being berated by my peers.

Children and adults can be truly awful sometimes, for whatever deep-seated reasons. People often think so little of others they will go out of their way to inflict huge emotional pain on them. I don’t think I have bullied anyone, but I have been told that sometimes this can occur without us knowing.

Sadly, I have been in a few situations where bullying behaviour has been excused. The bully “was bullied themselves”, “they feel angry”, “jealous” or “unable to control themselves”.

Well sorry to say, I really don’t sympathise. If you indeed have been bullied yourself, then you know the pain it causes. You know how it can cause you immense pain, put strain on relationships and on your wellbeing.

So if you know all that, why on earth would you inflict it on someone else?

If you are angry — get a punching bag. If you are jealous — go and improve your own life. Don’t tear down other people’s lives.

Bullying needs to be recognised for what it is and what it isn’t.

It needs to be taken seriously and it needs to stop. Full stop.

Derek Goforth is a teacher at Geraldton Christian College